Up & Coming Weekly

Kraken Flavored Eye Candy Could Use More Bubo Clash of the Titans (Rated PG) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS All the major characters in Clash of the Titans (106 minutes) are just so darn pretty. Full pouting lips, flowing locks, soulful eyes… the movie wasn’t that great, but turn the sound off and you could be watching a beauty pageant. A beauty pageant that required everyone to wear leather, gleam with sweat and display artfully sprinkled glitter dust on all exposed body parts. And, love to director Louis Leterrier, there are plenty of exposed body parts. A fairly boring narration discuss- es a revamped version of the Greek mythology that we all learned about in first grade. The Olympians over- threw the Titans with the help of the Kraken, which is under the control of Hades (Ralph Fiennes). Zeus (Liam Neeson) and his brother Poseidon (Danny Huston) then tricked Hades into taking control of the Underworld, leaving them in charge of the Earth and Seas. Scene transition to Spyros the fisherman (Pete Postlethwaite) discovering a cof- fin that contains Danae (Tine Staplefeldt) and Baby Perseus. Perseus (now played by Sam Worthington) spends his childhood needing therapy, but eventually reaches his full beefcake potential. Just as he is getting over his abandonment issues, soldiers from Argos alter the course of human history and Perseus ends up adrift. He is found and taken to Argos where his passive-aggressive behavior ruins a perfectly nice get together. His host King Cepheus (Vincent Regan) seems alright, but hostess Queen Cassiopeia (Polly Walker) is full of non-sequitors that result in the slaughter of a dozen or so people. Their daughter Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) bears the consequences of her mother’s ill-chosen words while Perseus decides to work out his daddy issues with some old-fashioned hack-and-slash. Luckily for Perseus, his A-Team is full of pretty, pretty, people — including Io (Gemma Arterton), who serves as token chick, and Draco the father figure (Mads Mikkelson). Unfortunately his A-Team does NOT include Bubo the awesome me- chanical owl from the original Clash of the Titans (aside from a brief cameo). Despite the involvement of Hades, Perseus quickly makes it through the first leg of his quest. After including a “Djinn” in the group (who looks and sounds more like a Star Wars extra than anyone relevant to this story), our hero manages to find the Stygian witches. They send him after Medusa, who turns men to stone. In the process of his finally resolving his daddy issues, Perseus picks up some nifty little toys. These toys help him survive a few battles and get him to Argos just in time to see the Kraken eat Andromeda. Just kidding. She lives. Or does she? Even though the movie should end at that point, for some reason it does not. Hades makes one more super villain-like appearance, showcasing some very nice affects. Overall, it was a rather muddled remake. Plot holes abound, and there is an emphasis on style over substance. Just like the actors, the movie looks very pretty, but the dialogue reeks of testosterone and the acting is subpar. Especially considering the opportunities for expanding female roles, the script seems more focused on the men. While the gods get plenty of screen time, the goddesses don’t even get close-ups, much less speaking parts. HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com Pilates & Yoga OF FAYETTEVILLE Benefi ts of Prenatal Pilates: • Promotes good posture and spinal alignment, easing the strain and tensions involved with a changing body during pregnancy. • Increases deep abdominal strength providing support for the weight of the baby and taking pressure off the spine. • Increases pelvic fl oor strength and greater awareness of the muscles used during childbirth. • Improves muscle endurance especially in the “core” region including the abdomen, back, pelvis, and shoulder. • Promotes relaxation through the use of fl owing movements and focus on breath. pipilatesoffayetteville.comlatesoffayetteville.com • (910) 484-2163 26 UCW APRIL 21-27, 2010 (910) 484-2163 • 4145 Ferncreek Dr ve 4145 Ferncreek Drivei WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM PreNatal Pilates Stay fi t and prepare for child birth using Pilates. Ok, so you’ve got a baby in your belly—now what? Are you ready to work out for two? The Pilates method of gentle strengthening exercises, on either a mat or the Pilates equipment, will tone you up but also address things like poor posture, back or leg pain, and the muscular aches and pains associated with pregnancy.

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