CityView Magazine

A difference between depression and despair Jeffrey Brooke Allen lost his job, his wife and his car all in the same week. The depression he suffered as a result is a demon he fights by working with local charities. Allen is 64 . He lives in a small, three- room apartment in Haymount with a stray gray kitten named Babycat. He says he is lucky to be where he is. Allen graduated with a doctorate in psychology from Northwestern Univer- sity and came to Fayetteville in 1976 to take a job as an assistant professor at Fayetteville State University. He was in his tenure year in April 1982 when his life began a downward spiral. “I got fired, divorced and wrecked my car all in the same week,” Allen said. Life got worse. “I was hospitalized four times for clinical depression,” Allen says. “I had schizophrenic manifestation, rapid mood swings and I was bi-polar. I still suffer from depression, and I know I probably will every day for the rest of my life. “The divorce wouldn’t have been so bad if it was just my wife. But she took my children, a boy and a girl, and moved all the way to Louisiana.” With no job and no car, Allen moved into a friend’s backyard shed. Today, he has his own apartment. At the top of his steps hangs a sign, given to him by his daughter, which says, “You are here.” Allen makes $711 a month includ- ing food stamps. He says he lives like a poor king. He smokes cheap cigarettes and eats a lot of beans and rice. He admires Babe Ruth, Roberto Clemente, Jackie Rob- inson, not for their athletic ability but for their compassion; they worked with charities. Like them, Allen has become in- volved with local non-profits such as the CROP Walk, the Boys and Girls Club, Fayetteville Urban Ministry, The Haven Friends for Life animal shel- ter and other charities. He once gave some inheritance money – $11,370 cash – to Fayetteville Urban Ministry. “I just liked those numbers,” he said. “I want people with emotional chal- lenges to know they can make it,” Allen says. “It won’t be easy, but they need to know you can recover and you can lead an active life.” Allen began trying to get his feet back on the ground with something his mother had saved from his childhood. “I still don’t know what I would have done if it had not been for my old 1933 to 1956 baseball cards,” he says. Allen became a sports card memora- bilia, record and comic book dealer, but few, if any, of his customers liked him because of his mood swings. “I have gone from 100 percent me, me, me to doing everything I can for charity,” he says. “Working for charities costs me money, but at this time in my life, I feel better when I’m giving than when I’m making money. “I didn’t choose to be charitable to ease my depression, but my depression eased when I became charitable,” he said. “It is true, you know – it is better to give than to receive.” Allen says he has learned there is a big difference between depression and despair. “Depression is when you don’t think you are good enough for the world; despair is when you don’t think the world is good enough for you.” Detours do not change destinations Sherri Arnold Graham was only 36 when she found out she had breast cancer. A wife and mother, Graham had sur- gery and chemotherapy treatments, all the while vowing to “fight every day” of her life. Now 45, Graham is fighting to increase breast cancer awareness in Fayetteville and beyond. A talkative lady with a big smile, Gra- ham is a woman on a mission. With the help of her husband, Ernesto Graham, a gynecologist, she started the Sherri Arnold Graham Foundation in 2005 as “I believe I was “I believe I was diagnosed so that I could help others.” CityViewNC.com | 45 -Sherri Arnold Graham diagnosed that I could help others

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