CityView Magazine

on second thought life on other planets? Does Bigfoot really exist? But these questions pale in comparison to the one that I am L You Can't Get There From Here ife presents us with numerous questions, many of them profound or difficult to answer with any degree of certainty: Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Is there intelligent asked most frequently: Can you give me directions? Apparently, I have a demeanor that makes me seem ap- proachable to strangers. I am forever telling shoppers at the grocery store where to find certain items. I also seem to at- tract every lost driver in Fayetteville because I spend an inor- dinate amount of time giving directions. But, unlike the help I offer shoppers when they are looking for canned soup or a turkey baster, the help I offer lost drivers is, at best, minimal. Don't blame me. I know where I'm going when I'm in my car. Instead, blame the people who designed the road system in Fayetteville (bless their little hearts) for creating a system so confusing that giving simple directions to someone is al- most impossible. In our fair city, you really can't get there from here un- set a land-speed record or to circumnavigate the earth — I was just trying to get to the other side of town, for Pete's sake. These sudden and unexpected changes caused an already direction-challenged driver to experience moments of near- panic. Imagine my dismay when I discovered one day that I was no longer on Rowan Street, but on Grove Street. The intersection where this name change occurs has yet another name change on the streets that run perpendicular to Row- an and Grove — Green Street becomes Ramsey Street. One intersection, four street names. To borrow a line spoken by Kramer on Seinfeld, this location just might be "the nexus of the universe." Don't even get me started on the Country Club Drive/ less the person who needs your help happens to ask for it only a block from his destination. We do not have a major expressway that traverses the entire city and provides access to almost every neighborhood or shopping center via an exit ramp. The few major thoroughfares we have head straight to- wards a single destination, such as Fort Bragg or Cross Creek Mall. If a driver turns into a neighborhood from these major roads, he usually has to make countless turns to find the in- tended address. Even then, the driver usually finds someone to ask for help, someone like me, who tells him to turn leſt at the next corner, drive two blocks, and then ask someone else to explain the next leg of the journey. Even people with navigational systems have stopped to ask me for directions, and they usually ap- pear distressed that their magic dashboard devices aren't so magical aſter all. Part of the problem may be our notorious name changes at intersections. Does any other city on earth share Fayette- ville's love affair with multiple names for the same road? I remember vividly my own confusion about street names when I first moved here almost 30 years ago. I was a young mother just trying to find my way to the mall, to the grocery store and to my daughter's preschool. I wasn't attempting to 12 | October • 2012 Pamalee Drive/Skibo Road/401 Bypass conundrum. The poor soul who navigates this thoroughfare for the first time must think he is trapped in an episode of The Twilight Zone. The stretch of road from Raeford Road to Bragg Boulevard is called Skibo Road; then it is called Pamalee Drive until it reaches Murchison Road; then it is called Country Club Drive until it reaches Ramsey Street. The entire route is also called 401 Bypass because it goes from 401 South (Raeford Road) to 401 North (Ramsey Street). If a driver doesn't turn onto Ramsey Street but crosses over it, he is then on Tokay Drive, which goes into a residential neighborhood. Are you confused yet? If not, then go downtown and take a spin around the Market House, another "nexus of Not only is the Market House surrounded by a traffic circle, but all four streets that feed into this circle have four differ- ent names, just in case the traffic circle thing isn't confusing enough: Hay Street, Gillespie Street, Person Street, and Green Street all branch off at some point, and heaven help the driver who wants to merge into the circle or drive out of it if his car is not in an outside lane. Nervous drivers in all lanes — in- side and outside — have near-collisions every day. The only thing missing is a clown car making endless loops around this loopy intersection. Somehow, people manage to find their destinations amid the universe" location. this patchwork collection of streets, either by skillful naviga- tion or just sheer luck. And if skill and luck don't work, you can always stop and ask this friendly native for directions. Unless I'm busy giving directions at the grocery store. CV Mary Zahran lives in Fayetteville on a street with only one name. She can be reached at maryzahran@gmail.com B Y M A R Y Z A H R A N

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