Up & Coming Weekly

March 14, 2017

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

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MARCH 8-14, 2017 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Born Jesterday I'm a 27-year- old guy, and I'm not very funny. I know women like a guy with a sense of humor, so I was interested in these "Flirt Cards" with funny messages that I saw on Kickstarter. You write your number on the back and give the card to a woman you'd like to meet. Good idea or bad for breaking the ice? — Single Dude Asking a woman out isn't just a way to get a date; it's a form of display. Consider that women look for men to show courage. (The courage to unwrap a pack of cards doesn't count.) Consider evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller's "mating mind" hypothesis — the notion that "our minds evolved not just as survival machines, but as courtship machines." Miller explains that the mind acts as a "fitness indicator" — a sort of advertising agency for a person's genetic quality (among other things). Humor is a reliable (hard-to-fake) sign of genetic quality — reflecting high intelligence, creative problem-solving ability and a lack of mutations that would handicap brain function. But it isn't just any old humor that women find attractive. Any guy can memorize a joke. Accordingly, in a study of the pickup lines men use on women, psychologists Christopher Bale and Rory Morrison "distinguish wit (spontaneous jokes that fit the context exactly, are genuinely funny, and require intelligence) from mere humor (the pre-planned jokes and one-liners, which … do not demonstrate intelligence)." Anthropologist Gil Greengross, who studies humor and laughter from an evolutionary perspective, suggests that even a guy who's lame at humor should at least take a run at being funny: "The risk of not even trying to make women laugh may result in losing a mating opportunity." I disagree — though only in part. If you're unfunny, trying to force the funny is like bragging, "Hey! I'm low in social intelligence!" However, you shouldn't let being unfunny stop you from hitting on a woman. What you can do is be spontaneously and courageously genuine. Just put yourself out there and say hello to her and acknowledge and even laugh at any awkwardness on your part. This isn't to say you should give up entirely on using pre-printed notes. Save them for special occasions — those when your message to a woman is something like "Stay calm and put all the money in the bag." Copyright 2017 Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Despite California's 2015 law aimed at improving the fairness of its red-light cameras, the city of Fremont (pop. 214,000, just north of San Jose) reported earning an additional $190,000 more each month last year by shortening the yellow light by two-thirds of a second at just two intersections. Tickets went up 445 percent at one and 883 percent at the other. (In November 2016, for "undisclosed reasons," the city raised the speed limit on the street slightly, "allowing" it to reinstate the old 0.7-second-longer yellow light.) [KPIX-TV (San Francisco), 2-3-2017; TheNewspaper.com, 2-8-2017] Updates of Previous Characters — and Some Recurring Themes Tammy Felbaum surfaced in News of the Weird in 2001 when she, originally Mr. Tommy Wyda, consensually castrated James Felbaum (her sixth husband), but he died of complications, resulting in Tammy's manslaughter conviction. (Among the trial witnesses: a previous spouse, who had also let "expert" Tammy castrate him: "She could castrate a dog in less than five minutes.") Felbaum, now 58, was arrested in February at the Westmoreland County (Pennsylvania) Courthouse after mouthing off at security guards searching her purse. She quipped sarcastically, "I have guns and an Uzi (and) a rocket launcher. I am going to shoot a judge today." (She was in court on a dispute over installation of a sewer line to her trailer home.) [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 2-7-2017] Marissa Alexander of Jacksonville, Florida, convicted and given a 20-year sentence in 2012 for firing a warning shot into a wall to fend off her abusive estranged husband, finally had the charges dropped in February. The persnickety trial judge had earlier determined that Florida's notorious "Stand Your Ground" law did not apply, even though the husband admitted that he was threatening to rough up Alexander and that she never aimed the gun at him. (With that defense not allowed, Alexander was doomed under Florida's similarly notorious 20-year mandatory sentence for aggravated assault using a gun.) [New York Times, 2-8-2017] Copyright 2017 Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You may find yourself teetering between responsibilities to work, friends and even family. It's possible you will need to set aside some time to play catch-up in the coming days. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Listen before you make assumptions, Taurus. Resist any temptation to wildly post or chat about personal information. You might regret it later on. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Finances are your main priority this week, Gemini. Whether you have a lot in savings or are floundering paycheck to paycheck, it is time to reassess your financial situation. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, if things are stressful at home, it may be necessary to step away for some breathing room. Book a vacation so everyone can unwind and recharge. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Take a deep breath and try to relax, Leo. You have been operating on overdrive for some time now and you're just about out of gas. Book that vacation, pronto. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 A promising collaboration may be on the horizon, Virgo. This could prove interesting and also propel a hobby or your career a bit further than you had anticipated. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, newfound success earns you the recognition you deserve. It could mean a promotion to a corner office or even the opportunity to enjoy a new, more lucrative job elsewhere. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 A dream or a passion project you have been working on for several months may finally come to fruition, Scorpio. Make changes gradually and success will follow. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, there's no wiggle room left for apprehension or ambivalence. Take action this week and it could be a turning point in your life. Seal the deal however you choose. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, the key to landing on your feet is to always expect the curveballs that will be thrown your way. This way you are always on your toes and can adapt quickly. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Now is a good time to declutter your life, Aquarius. Start sorting through your belongings, then move on to any emotional baggage you've been carrying. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 This week is ripe for love, Pisces. A romantic connection may finally bloom or you may get news that someone is expecting a baby. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard

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