North Bay Woman

F A L L 2 0 1 5 | NORTH BAY WOMAN 45 Fill in the blank: I feel most loved with _______. 1. Words of affirmation 2.. Acts of service 3. Receiving gifts 4. Quality time 5. Physical touch How would your partner, child or best friend respond? And you? When you have clarity around what has the most meaning for you (and others), you can request and deliver this action appropriately. If "receiving gifts" is the correct love language, gift-giving makes great sense. If it's one of the other four mentioned, consider a smaller token of affection in the gift-giving vibe of the holidays but put your focus in the place best suited for the individual for maximum emotional impact. Here is more on the five love languages, including ideas on giving and receiving gifts. The Language of Words of Affirmation • Words are the most powerful of all for these people. Praise and appreciation will be of highest value. Idea Compose a hand-written letter expressing how you feel about this person; what about them is special, what do you appreciate, why do you love them? The Language of Acts of Service • Actions speak louder than words for these people. Helping in some way will yield high dividends. Idea Offer to assist in a big project; perhaps your good friend is hosting a holiday party and could use a hand. Idea Find a local volunteer opportunity to participate with your loved one. Helping others is a way to boost positive emotions and meaningful connection for those participating. The Language of Quality Time • These people want your undivided attention. They will feel most loved if you give them the gift of your time. Idea Schedule a hike, coffee or stroll through town with the person in your life who appreciates quality time. The Language of Physical Touch • Your intimate relationships in particular will really appreciate you taking the initiative to reach out and physically connect with them. Idea Always keep in mind the importance of general physical affection to your loved one. Cuddles, holding hands and playful pats will go a long way. The Language of Receiving Gifts • These people feel most loved by receiving gifts on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions (and perhaps "no occasions" too). Idea Ask your special person what kinds of gifts make them feel special. Some don't care about the cost necessarily; a card or small token will do. The holiday season provides many opportunities for generating loving feelings. The meaning of this time varies but it's often around connection, family and cultural traditions, vacations, demonstrations of love, winter wonderlands (for us a dusting of snow on the peak of Mt. Tam will do), twinkling lights and cheer. Gift-giving and receiving is also commonly part of the experience. This year, consider assessing the love language of your closest relationships before racing to the mall in holiday shopping zeal. Lo and behold, your sweetie might actually feel the most emotional impact and meaning from something that costs...nothing! ■

• Cover