Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JULY 29 - AUGUST 4, 2015 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Sleepless in Fallujah I just broke up with my girlfriend of seven months. We fought constantly, but the sex was amazing. Reviewing my relationships, it seems I have the best sex in the volatile ones — those where we argue all the time and really don't get along. I'm wondering whether there's a connection between anger and sex. — Just Curious Justin Garcia, an evolutionary biologist at the Kinsey Institute, told me that "in general, relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction seem to correlate." In other words, when your love life is in the toilet, your sex life is quick to join it for a swim. That said, Garcia says there's some evidence for a "subgroup of people who can have very volatile relationships but very passionate sexual lives together." This seems to have something to do with the body's response to stress. Sex researcher Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist David Buss explain in Why Women Have Sex that a stressful situation activates a "fight or flight" reaction in the sympathetic nervous system, making your heart race and your blood pressure zoom and leading your brain to release norepinephrine, a brain chemical that, molecularly, is the first cousin of speed. This helps explain why prolonged activation of the sympathetic nervous system — as in, prolonged stress or anxiety with no physical outlet —can be physically unbearable. Many who regularly experience this sort of stress-athon take anti-anxiety drugs like Xanax to calm down. But in Meston's research on female arousal, some women found sex to be a substitute chill pill. Some women even reported that stress makes them feel turned on. Which makes stress sound like it has its sexy points — that is, unless you're a man, because sympathetic nervous system overarousal is the body's little erection-killer. Seeing as this doesn't seem to be a problem for you, when you're in one of those boringly healthy relationships, sure, you could pick fights and hope this leads to more exciting sex and not less sex, no sex, or no more girlfriend. Or…you could opt for a more positively energizing activity, like paintball, Super Soaker tag, or an intense pillow fight. Aerobic exercise and competition both boost testosterone -- a libido picker-upper in both men and women. They also increase energy and arousal -- and probably more so if you add a little playful goading and teasing to the mix. But, as Meston and Buss point out, what you should definitely avoid is the advice of many self- help books to "romance" a woman with soothing music, a bubble bath, or a massage. Remember, you're trying to get a woman in the mood, not put her in a coma: "Oh, baby, you make me so -- wait…are you snoring?" AMY ALKON Copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Among the protesters at New York City's Gay Pride Parade on the Sunday after the Supreme Court's historic gay-marriage decision was a group of men outfitted in Jewish prayer garments and representing the Jewish Political Action Committee, carrying signs reading, for example, "Judaism prohibits homosexuality." However, the men were very likely not Jewish, but in fact Mexican laborers hired for the day. A representative of the committee told The New York Times that the men were "supplemental" — necessary because the committee's rabbis would not permit their students (who normally staff such protests) to be exposed to the sights of same-sex exuberance typical for the parade. [New York Times, 6-28-2015] Government in Action WOOD-TV of Grand Rapids, Michigan, seemingly uncovered an antiquity — if not a potential vulnerability — in the Grand Rapids public school system in June when it reported that the heating and cooling systems at 19 schools are controlled using a Commodore Amiga computer (released in the 1980s, about the same time as Windows 2.0), operating on an early Internet modem. It had been installed by a computer- savvy student and, according to the maintenance supervisor, still works fine. Fortunately, the supervisor said, the student still lives in the area and is available if problems arise. [WOOD-TV, 6-11-2015] Recurring Theme: Government officials who insist on such "bells and whistles" as redesigning their department's logo are often ridiculed for wasting taxpayer money (yet design consultants continue to sell the illusion that a new logo can give a bureaucracy a refreshing rebirth). In May, Tennessee officials unveiled a new state logo (which cost only $46,000 — not counting the expense of changing signs, cards, stationery, etc.), which consists of the letters "TN" in white inside a red box with a blue trim underneath. (A Watchdog.org critic suggested a contest to design a superior one, but open only to kids age 12 and under, with the prize a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate.) [WSMV- TV (Nashville), 5-22-2015] Copyright CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You are in for a treat this week, Aries. You finally get to experience the results of all of your hard work. Celebrate with a dinner out or a good party. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, calmly approach a difficult situation this week. Giving yourself time to carefully assess a problem will provide the most effective solution. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, a resolution to a problem you haven't been able to solve is on the horizon. This will make things much easier in the long run, and your patience will pay off. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, since you are a friendly person and the life of the party, it should come as no surprise that everyone wants to be your friend. Expand your social circle if you feel you have time. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, sometimes you take on too much. Reevaluate your schedule and see if there are ways you can cut back on your commitments for a few days. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, your goal for the time being is to take care of business and clear your calendar. You may be more than ready to indulge in some rest and relaxation. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Curiosity may get the better of you this week, Libra. It's good to pursue your interests, but make sure you aren't stepping on anyone's toes along the way. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you desire quick answers, but no one seems to be moving at your pace this week. You might just have to buckle down and be patient. Answers will come in due time. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, a trip is enticing, but you have too many responsibilities on your plate to up and leave right now. You will have time to get away soon enough. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, take a hectic schedule day-by- day. Everything will get done in time, and you just need to have a little patience. Distract yourself this week. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Someone or something may have turned you off of making a large purchase, Aquarius. Discuss your sudden change of heart with someone close to you. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Don't turn your world upside down to take on another project, Pisces. You have plenty on your plate to keep you busy as it is. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard