Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JAN. 28 - FEB. 3, 2015 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Playing with Mismatches I like this woman I've been seeing, but she's really in love with me. I've been clear that I'm not ready to get more serious and that I'm really never going to be up for that with her. She's chosen to stick around, but her best friend called me crying, saying I'm breaking her heart. (Yikes!) Is it wrong to stay with somebody whose feelings are much stronger than yours? — Troubled She sees the two of you getting old together. You see the two of you getting together for sex on Friday. The French make this sort of mismatch sound sexy and fabulous, calling what she's feeling "la douleur exquise" — the "exquisite pain" of wanting somebody you can't have. But look under the hood and you'll see an ugly stew of hormones and the psychological gotchas called cognitive biases — unconscious errors in reasoning — leading to an acute case of adult-onset puppy love. Some would argue that this woman is worshipping at your altar of her own free will (laying if not crops and a goat at your feet, then undying love, Doritos, and beer). The truth is, a cognitive bias called the "sunk cost fallacy" probably has a good bit to do with her sticking around. This describes our tendency to be irrational "investors" — deciding whether we'll continue putting time, energy, and/or money into something based on what we've already put in. This is dumb, because our initial investment is gone, and throwing in more whatever won't change that. The rational approach would be basing our decision on what kind of payoff we're likely to see down the road. Unfortunately, though we humans have a reasoning department built into our brain, cognitive biases can keep it a plastic-wrapped no-go zone, much like my late grandma's living room couch. Love is not always 50/50, but it also shouldn't be, oh, 90/10. Eventually, if you have a conscience, taking advantage of her futile hopes will prey on you (if it hasn't already). And sooner or later, she's likely to resent and maybe even hate you for sticking around to never give her what she wants — instead providing the dating version of "Hey, we don't sell what you need at this store, but please hang out here till we go out of business. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Among the breakthroughs demonstrated by the computer chip company Intel's RealSense system is a cocktail dress from Dutch designer Anouk Wipprecht that not only senses the wearer's "mood," but also acts to repel (or encourage) strangers who might approach the wearer. Sensors (including small LED monitors) measure respiration and 11 other profiles, and if the wearer is "stressed," artistic spider-leg epaulets extend menacingly from the shoulder to suggest that "intruders" keep their distance (in which case the dress resembles something from the movie Aliens) — or, if the wearer feels relaxed, the legs wave invitingly. The experimental "spider dress" was showcased at January's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. [Daily Mail (London), 1-7-2015] Government in Action Because Congress and presidents often change their minds, NASA recently continued to build on a $349 million rocket testing tower in Mississippi for a "moon" project that had been canceled back in 2010. The now-idle tower sits down the road from a second rocket testing tower being built for its "replacement" mission — an "asteroid" project. Critics, according to a December Washington Post examination, blame senators who believe it smarter to keep contractors at work (even though useless) because, Congress and the president might change their minds yet again. Said a high- profile critic, "We have to decide ... whether we want a jobs program or a space program." NASA's inspector general in 2013 identified six similar "mothballed" projects that taxpayers continue to maintain. [Washington Post, 12-15-2014] Un-Government: About 240 of the 351 police departments in Massachusetts claim their SWAT and other specialty operations are not "government" services, but rather not-for-profit corporate activities and are thus entitled to avoid certain government obligations. Even though their officers have the power to carry weapons, arrest people and break down doors during raids, these "law enforcement councils" refuse to comply with government open- records laws for civilian monitoring of SWAT activities. The latest refusal, by the 58 police agencies of the North Eastern Massachusetts Law Enforcement Council, was filed in state Superior Court in December. [Daily News of Newburyport, 12-13- 2014; Washington Post, 6-26-2014] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Your fears are the only things holding you back this week, Aries. Confidence is all you need to move forward, so take some initiative and you will be glad you did. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You cannot outmaneuver karma, Taurus. You will reap what you sow this week, so remain positive and things will ultimately work out in your favor. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, do your best to prevent distractions from getting to you or affecting your performance at work. You can overcome these distractions if you just stay focused. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Certain responsibilities require all of your attention this week, Cancer. Set aside some time to tackle these tasks one at a time, and you will be done before you know it. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Circumstances may shift without warning, Leo. It pays to have a backup plan available so you can make any necessary adjustments. Think on your feet. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you may be emotionally invested in a cause or a belief, but you cannot expect everyone to share your passion. Give others room to form their own opinions. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Your ambition takes you on a few adventures this week, Libra. Keep an open mind, and these excursions will prove all the more valuable down the road. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 This week may mark a turning point in your love life, Scorpio. Enjoy taking this next step and make the most of all of the new experiences you share together in the days to come. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Take charge of your goals this week, Sagittarius. Many of your goals are worthwhile endeavors that can be achieved through a combination of commitment and hard work. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, plan an excursion or a get-together with friends before boredom sets in. This will give everyone a chance to reconnect and engage in some lighthearted fun. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, it will be very easy to get pulled off course this week. All you have to do is daydream for a while and time will fly. Make a to-do list so you can maintain your focus. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Stay put for a while, Pisces. Now is not a good time to make changes. Stick with what has been working for the time being. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard We can help you learn what is happening in and around Fayetteville! In print and online! Look for it online now at www.upandcomingweekly.com. 208 Rowan St. 910.484.6200 Connecting a Community What's going on in our community?