Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/398122
OCTOBER 15-21, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Will Onesies Never Cease? My married friend just had a baby and posts what's essentially the same "Look how cuuute!" shot on Facebook several times dai- ly. Beyond finding this annoyingly boring, I'm 32 and unhappily single, and seeing all of her blissful pix is making me envious and resent- ful. Is it wrong to secretly block her photos? I feel it would be better for our friendship. — Baby On Overboard As you're feeling bliss-bombed, you might keep in mind that she's sharing only the cute moments — her mini-vacations from the screaming and the sleeplessness, going online at 3 a.m. to play "Match That Rash," and the endless analysis of the cut, color and clarity of baby diamonds — otherwise known as poo. (If a new mom's actual reality were on parade, Facebook would be renamed Buttbook.) Sympathizing with your friend (and even working up to feeling happy for her) is actually in your self-interest. In The How of Happiness, social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky wisely notes: "You can't be envious and happy at the same time." Though we rather automatically compare ourselves with others, Lyubomir- sky's research finds that the happiest people aren't weighed down by others' achievements; they take pleasure in oth- ers' successes and appear to judge them- selves by their own internal standards. Unhappy people, on the other hand, feel deflated by their peers' accomplishments and relieved about their failures. They tend to be very focused on how much bet- ter others are doing, which causes them to feel "chronically vulnerable, threatened, and insecure." To become a happier person, start acting like one — expressing generosity of spirit. Lyubomirsky's research finds that one of the most effective ways to be meaningfully happier is to do kind acts for others. So, instead of blocking your friend, try a coun- terintuitive approach: Block out time to spend with her. Go over there, maybe fold a towel and put away a couple of dishes, and treat her to an interaction that doesn't end with somebody chewing on her nipple. As long as you're in the generosity of spirit aisle, pick some up for yourself. Remind yourself that finding a partner is hard for most people. Get in the habit of taking stock of what's good in your life, and think of constructive ways to get closer to what you want. Replacing your sneery mindset with a more upbeat outlook should have you radiating the sort of posi- tive energy that draws people — including single male people — to you. Keep that up and you should eventually find yourself married, pregnant, and the envy of every woman whose dream it is to throw up vio- lently every morning but still look like that girl who turned into a giant blueberry in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The job of determining stress levels in whales is itself apparently stressful. The most reliable information about tension lies in hormones most accurately measured by researchers' boarding a boat, sidling up to a whale and waiting until it blasts snot out of its blowhole. By catching enough of it (or wiping it off of their raincoats), scientists can run the gunk through chemical tests. However, a team of engineering researchers at Olin College in Needham, Massachusetts, told The Boston Globe in September that they were on the verge of creating a radio- controlled, mucus-trapping drone that would bring greater civility to the researchers' job (and reduce the add-on stress the whales must feel at being stalked by motorboats). [Boston Globe, 9-10-2014] War Is Hell The newly inaugurated "Al-Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent" (a project of Osama bin Laden's successor, Ayman al-Zawahiri) failed spectacularly in its maiden mission in September when it attempted to commandeer an American "aircraft carrier" in port in Karachi, Pakistan. Actually, the ship was a misidentified Pakistani naval vessel that did not even vaguely resemble an aircraft carrier, and Pakistani forces killed or captured all 10 jihadists. A September raid on an ISIS safe house in Syria turned up, among other items (according to Foreign Policy magazine), a Dell laptop owned by Tunisian jihadist "Muhammed S.," containing (not unexpectedly) recipes for bubonic plague and ricin, and (less likely) a recipe for banana mousse and a variety of songs by Celine Dion. [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-12-2014] [Foreign Policy, 9-9-2014] Latest Religious Messages In September, the Seattle-based Mars Hill megachurch announced it would close several branches as founding preacher Mark Driscoll takes personal leave to contemplate over- the-top messages he's made in the past about women. Among the most striking statements (as gathered by the "Wenatchee the Hatchet" blog in Wenatchee, Washington) were those expressing certainty that women exist solely to support men. A man's penis "is not your (personal) penis," he told men. "Ultimately, God created you, and it is his penis." "Knowing that his penis would need a home ... God created a woman (who) makes a very nice home." Driscoll added, helpfully, "But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not." [Salon.com, 9-8-2014] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you begin the week with enthusiasm, but excitement begins to wane quite quickly. Find a way to rally your energy levels so you can complete tasks. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Rein in your emotions as much as possible this week, Taurus. You will feel passionate about a project in the coming days, but you still must remain calm as you tackle the tasks at hand. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, commitments at work may keep you from your plans, even if you have had a special event on the calendar for some time. This obligation is unavoidable. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Expect to have some serious feelings about love and romance this week, Cancer. You are empowered by the sweet feelings and what they mean for your future. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you are quite adept at maintaining a stoic outer appearance, but inside your emotions are churning. Find a healthy release and you will be glad you did. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, test the waters before you share a secret. This way you can get an idea of how a small group of people will react before you spread the word. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, use your natural gift for diplomacy to resolve a conflict at work. It is easy to find common ground and steer the conversation toward a reasonable resolution. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, grab some friends' attention as you attempt to garner support for a coming project. Once you have the floor, make the most of this opportunity. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, everything in your life seems to be in order. Now might be a great time to schedule some well-deserved rest and relaxtion with loved ones. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, listen to your sixth sense as it guides you in a particular direction. Your instincts rarely steer you wrong. Resist the urge to follow what everyone else is doing. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 The first step toward change at work is to take the initiative, Aquarius. Once you make the decision to forge ahead, everything will fall nicely into place. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, don't worry if you have to give up something you desire when negotiating with others. The chips will fall into place. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Fun , A ff or da bl e, FA M I L Y En t ert ai n me nt! FIREANTZ GAME THIS WEEKEND All Tickets Just $10.00 Saturday, October 18th Puck drops at 7:30 p.m. at the Crown Coliseum www.fireantzhockey.com Tickets available at the Crown Center Box Office 910.321.0123 910.321.0123 Call FireAntz office for more information.