Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/382096
SEPTEMBER 17-23, 2014 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS DOODY BOUND You printed a letter from a guy who doesn't want to be a father and wanted to know how to be sure his girlfriend is on birth control. You said, "The single worst form of birth control is trusting that a woman … longing for a baby" is taking hers (with whether she's ethical being a "mitigating factor"). But you forgot to tell him the magic word — abstinence! In addition to preventing pregnancy, it also guarantees that you won't get STDs or suffer the physically or psychologically damaging effects of premarital sex. Also, where'd you get the idea that women are conniving to get a bun in the oven without informing their partner? Right, we're all baby-hungry, unethical hopeful breeders. — Saved Myself Yes, abstaining from sex will help a person avoid pro- ducing offspring or getting STDs. But the advice "Just don't have sex!" is especially impracti- cal for guys in their early 20s. As for where I got the idea about (some) women "conniving to get a bun in the oven without informing their partner," well, in email I've received from dismayed men paying child support to these women and from research by therapist Dr. Melinda Spohn. Spohn found that more than a third of the 400 women she surveyed at two community colleges had risked pregnancy — surreptitiously going without birth control or sporadi- cally using it when they had sex with men with desirable qualities (like an apparent willingness to commit and good financial prospects). On a positive note, it isn't only men who are appalled by this behavior. A female reader who wanted a second child but whose husband wasn't up for it wrote, "I can't even remember how many people heard this and said 'well, accidents hap- pen,' followed by a *wink wink.* Seri- ously, it's disgusting! Even our family doctor said this! I've always been sure to make those people feel about two inches tall by saying that I would NEVER do that to my husband." This woman's ethics are the single best guarantee a man has that birth control will be used instead of dropped behind the bed. Meanwhile, many people will tell you they value ethics and then just cross their fingers and hope their partner has them. The thing to do is to make ethics a requirement, meaning looking for a partner to be OMG ethi- cal!!! the way you look for them to be OMG hot!!! In other words, yes, a man who doesn't want a child should prac- tice abstinence — the practical, doable kind: abstaining from getting into bed with any woman until he's observed that he has reason to trust her. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you can have all of the inspiration in the world, but without some practical application, your idea will stall. Spend some time thinking things through. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You are torn between two choices, Taurus. Family matters are on one side, and work responsibilities are on the other. It may take a few days to work out a decision. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, it's difficult to contain all of your enthusiasm, so share your excitement and happiness with others. Try tackling some other people's projects. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you will be front and center in the days to come. Don't be nervous, as you're fully capable of handling the extra attention. Enjoy the spotlight while it lasts. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you will be full of energy this week. Use this energy and enthusiasm to your advantage, tackling projects you have let go unfinished but want to get done. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, immerse yourself in activities that put you first over the next few days. Whether it's a date or simply alone time, enjoy it and start tending to your needs. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, getting back into the swing of things after a long vacation can be challenging. But you will have no problem getting back into a groove and getting all of your work done. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Try turning something you enjoy doing for fun into a career, Scorpio. Loving what you get paid to do is a key to a happy life, so figure out a way to make that happen. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you may be adept at finding an easy way around a difficult thing, but sometimes taking the hard road offers good life lessons along the way. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Family needs take precedence over your obligations at work, Capricorn. Higher-ups will just have to be patient if they want to keep you on as an employee. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, everyone expects you to provide advice, but this week you may be in need of guidance. It could be because you have been tackling so many projects lately. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Few things escape your attention, Pisces. However, this week you can expect to be happily surprised by good news. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD German Rolf Buchholz, who owns the Guinness Book world record for most body piercings (453), said he was upset to be denied entrance into United Arab Emirates in August to fulfill a performance of sorts at Dubai's Fairmont Hotel. Buchholz said officials gave no explanation, although in addition to the piercings (example: at least 50 beads stuck to his lips), he has also implanted horns in his forehead. Caius Veiovis, 33, is similarly concerned about his forehead horns. While preparing for trial in Hamden, Massachusetts, in a gruesome 2011 triple murder, he has decided to freshen up somewhat by removing the spikes from his nostrils, but still needs the judge's help to warn prospective jurors not to presume guilt from his six horns. [NBC News, 8-17-2014] [The Republican (Springfield, Mass.), 8-18-2014] The Continuing Crisis After several contestants in the 2013 world swimming championships in Barcelona, Spain, remarked that the racers in lanes 5 to 8 seemed to swim faster than those in lanes 1 to 4, two researchers investigated further and concluded, in July, that there was a rogue current on the lane- 8 side of the pool. In fact, most of the losers swam in lane 1, and the lane 8 swimmers produced a glut of medals, and, wrote the researchers, a current would be "the only cause that we can propose to explain these findings." [Wall Street Journal, 7-24-2014] The New Normal: In America, TV pundits merely shout at each other, but twice recently in Middle East TV debates, discussants have roughhoused on the air. Journalist Shakir al-Johari was involved both times, on the Jordanian 7 Stars channel in May and on Dubai TV in July. In the first, the studio was wrecked, according to Al-Arabiya news service, and the latter incident was calmed only after al-Johari threw his chair at lawyer Saleh Khrais. [BBC News, 5-7-2014] [emirates247.com, 7-21-2014] From the Foreign Press: (1) After police issued a plea for help in July to identify the perpetrators of a porn movie filmed inside an Austrian church and in which actors' faces were obscured, a serious fan of Austrian porn spoke up, naming the 24-year-old female lead. The nude breasts of the star, he said, were unmistakably those of "Babsi," a popular actress, and she was subsequently charged with trespassing in the church. (2) Wilfred Mashaya told a magistrate in Harare, Zimbabwe, in June that he wanted to divorce his wife because, when they sleep together, "She would not even make any sexual sound" — which was, to him, unbearable. The magistrate took the case under advisement. [The Local (Vienna), 7-14-2014] [Bulawayo24.com (Harare), 6-29-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard