Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/350600
JULY 23-29, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Tales from the Cryptic My boyfriend of two years got an early birthday present from his sister and her husband: a really expensive, second-row ticket for a major sporting event next year. The trouble is, it falls on my 30th birthday (a Saturday). He knows I usually don't care about my birthday, and I confess that I also judge people who care about theirs. Still, I can't help but feel that my 30th is a bit of a milestone, and I wanted to spend my birthday weekend together somewhere with my boyfriend. I understand that he doesn't want to seem ungrateful for his sister's gift, and he's courteously told me about this conflict well in advance. Do I need to just get over myself? Or should I raise my concerns? — Neglected The way I see it, if you are over 12 and not a cancer patient, do we really need to throw you a party and give you prizes for surviving another year? It seems you communicated some similar thinking to your boyfriend. Bizarrely, he believed you. Yet, apparently out of love and consideration (and perhaps the suspicion men have that all women are at least a little nuts), he let you know a year in advance that hockey or auto racing or whatever's special day coincides with your usually-not-so-special day. What more was he supposed to do —well, other than travel back in time and ask your mom, "Hey, can you hold the baby in one more week? There'll be a scheduling conflict in 30 years." Wait…were you expecting him to turn down the ticket? If so, what's that really about? Maybe a recent public service announcement from your ovaries? "Hi, we're also turning 30, as in, it won't be long before we retire, move to the countryside, and take up scrapbooking." You may also be looking for what evolutionary psychologists call a "costly signal" — some show of commitment requiring such a big outlay of money, effort, or forgone opportunity that it's likely to be sincere. (In the absence of a proposal and a diamond, maybe it seems the least he could do is light that ticket on fire.) If you do want more from the relationship, you may be able to get it, but expecting a man to read your thoughts is like expecting your dog to understand algebra. Tell your boyfriend you're feeling sensitive about your birthday, your future, or whatever else, and you'll at least find out where you stand. Assuming you get the reassurance you need, maybe you can do the loving thing and put your partner's interests up there in importance with your own, perhaps by celebrating your birthday the weekend before the actual day. You might also try to get in the habit of using spoken-word communication -- fun as it can be to surprise a man with a game of naked charades, aka "Guess what I'm thinking when I weep inconsolably WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Be honest with yourself, Aries. Sometimes change can be a good thing, so take a few days to sort through all of your options. You will be glad you did. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you may have to be clever to solve a particular problem this week. It will be challenging, but you are up to the task and your efforts will be their own reward. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, spend some time thinking about what you want rather than what others want for you. You may discover significant differences between the two, but do what makes you happy. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, it may take some time to get back on your feet after a stumble, but you will get there much faster if you ask a few friends for support. You know the people who have your back. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, very little can disappoint you or affect your mood. Enjoy the responsibility-free week with a free spirit. This is a great time for a vacation. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Think through all of your options before you act, Virgo. While something may seem like a good idea at first, careful thought may reveal some bumps in the road. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Work hard to earn a promotion at work, Libra. While you may need to take on more responsibility and work longer hours, the payoff will be well worth it. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, if you feel you are at a crossroads, take your time to make the best possible decision. This is a significant moment for you, and it requires focus and forethought. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, supporting a family member who deserves it has you riding high this week. This support may be emotional in nature or even financial support if you can manage. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, family activities are getting in the way of business prospects, and vice versa. You may need to make a difficult decision in the near future. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, think through the pros and cons of speaking your mind at work. Your opinions are valid, but you run the risk of alienating certain people, and that should not be taken lightly. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Approach a problem that's been puzzling you from a different perspective, Pisces. This new way of looking at things makes all the difference NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Prominent theoretical chemist David Glowacki was ejected from a classical music concert at England's Bristol Old Vic in June for disrupting a performance of Handel's "Messiah" by attempting to crowd-surf in front of the stage. Dr. Glowacki, an expert in non-equilibrium molecular reaction dynamics and who is presently a visiting scientist at Stanford University, was attending a special "informal" performance at which audience members were encouraged to stand and cheer loudly instead of showing the usual demure appreciation. He said afterward that he could not control himself when the performance moved to the "Hallelujah Chorus." [Irish Independent, 6-20- 2014] Cultural Diversity A formal-dress rental store in Fukui, Japan, with a side business making keepsake portraits of client brides, was surprised at the number of men who began requesting a similar service — to be outfitted just like the women, in wedding gowns and other frills. In fact, just as women expect full makeup and hairstyling for their portraits, so, too, do the men. The store, Marry Mariee, charges the equivalent of about $400 ($600 on weekends). Said the manager, " We want to provide opportunities for people to enjoy showing their real selves, whether they are men or women." [Kyodo News via Bangkok Post, 4-25-2014] Paid time off of work for women experiencing brutal menstrual periods is not yet guaranteed in U.S. law, but it is a staple of workplace rights in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Indonesia, according to a May report by The Atlantic (although in Indonesia, women report that some employers require on-the-scene "proof " of condition; Japan's policy has been in place for over 60 years). However, concluded The Atlantic, the policies are based less on rights of workers than on "the scientifically dubious notion" that stressing females during menses will result in difficult future childbirths. [The Atlantic, 5-16-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard