CityView Magazine - Fayetteville, NC
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/24236
ARRANGED MARRIAGES M Arranged marriages seem bizarre to most Americans but they have been an integral part of life in India for ages and still hold a strong grip on the culture there. y parents, Dr. and Mrs. Harin Bhatt, who now live in Atlanta, Ga, and my aunt and uncle, Pravina and Mac Dave, who live in Ahmedabad, India, have arranged marriages. My parents have been happily married for over three decades and cherish their lives together. When I asked their secret they said that it’s all about compromising and letting go. They added that they don’t use the word “me”, instead they use the word “us”. The fact that they didn’t know each other before being married hasn’t made their love or commitment any less real. Even today, 90 percent of marriages in India are arranged either by one’s parents, relatives, family friends or a professional match maker. One of the most interesting aspects of an arranged marriage is that it doesn’t involve a dating period at all. The future bride and groom are already committed to the marriage when they first meet each other. My parents marriage was arranged Respecting tradition | The writer’s parents, Dr. and Mrs. Harin Bhatt, in a snapshot from the early days of their marriage (Top). The writer’s aunt and uncle, Pravina and Mac Dave, at their wedding (Above). An Indian bride at her wedding in Atlanta, Ga (Opposite right). by my father’s father. He had seen my mother at a wedding and asked around about her family and thought of her as a great match for his son, who was finishing up in dental school. They were engaged within a month of meeting each other and got married six months later. My father had actually seen 35 women who his parents suggested he should marry before he finally agreed to marry my mother. He said there was something special about her. Because my parents already knew how arranged marriages work, they said they were not nervous at all but were excited to share their lives together. In their opinion, arranged marriages work out better because people go into the marriage with an attitude of making things work. The Indian culture looks down on divorce, so a couple entering an arranged marriage do not even think of divorce as an option. Instead, they work at their problems and know that they need to compromise in order to make things work. In the Indian culture, a father always looks for the best husband who can be a great provider, has good family background, can be a good husband and eventually a good father.CV - By Bhairavi Bhatt 24 | Feb/March • 2011