The O-town Scene

Jim Koury Each day can be a ‘New Year’ The new year is here. It is a time for resolution-making, looking forward to better lives and starting with a clean slate. However, it does not have to be a new year to make resolutions to better one’s life and to have a clean slate. Each and every day can be a “new year.” We must simply just decide to start fresh and leave the past behind. One of the most often recited reso- lutions I hear is, “I am going to be a better person and treat those around me with more respect and courtesy.” This is all well and good, but more often than not, the person making that particular resolution does not start with themselves. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I treating myself better and with the self respect that I deserve?” If you can answer yes, well, that’s wonderful. If not, why not? Many make excuses as well as fall victim to society’s admo- nitions that they don’t fit the norm of what society’s expectations are. LGBTQ individuals, not unlike most minorities, easily succumb to this kind of thinking. After being told for so long that they are strange, outcasts and just “not right,” what does one expect? You begin to actually think society may be right. I say to hell with that. Don’t make excuses and don’t let super- ficial societal mores dictate who you are and what you should become. How does one escape from this kind of thinking? It can be very difficult when one thinks they are less than someone else and not deserving of the freedom to be the person they truly are. Discover your internal calm; the point of equilibrium at which you are your happiest. Find your center. To many people, the solitude of self equates to loneliness. This is not true. When we are alone with ourselves we can think more freely and understand who we truly are and how we function within the plan the universe has laid out for us. One can be married or in a relationship and still be feel alone because they have not delved into themselves and discovered the point at which they feel the most comfort- able. Experience the calm of the soli- tude of self. Find that point at which you are the most comfortable with yourself. Remember the feeling when you are enmeshed in the trials and tribulations of life. It will sustain you. Jim Koury was born and raised in Oneonta. He is a gay activist, and the city clerk of Oneonta, a position he has held for 18 years. He was the editor of Diversity Rules Magazine, which may be re-launching in 2011. He can be reached at editor@diversityrulesmagazine.com. LGBTQ Events Thurs. 1/6 Trash Thursday with Katrina, 9 p.m., Merlin’s, 201 State St., Binghamton. Fri. 12/31 College Night at Merlin’s, 8 p.m., 201 State St., Bingham- ton, free before 11 p.m. with college ID. College Night at Twist Ultra Lounge, 252 West Genesee St., Syracuse. Sat. 1/1 Empire Bear Night at The Forum, 10 p.m., 670 University Ave., Rochester. Wed. 1/12 Welcoming Diversity Workshop, Center for Multicultural Experiences, Lee Hall, SUNY Oneonta. Register by Jan. 10. For info, Dale Capristo at 432-2469 or caprisda@ oneonta.edu. Fri. 1/14 Lesbian Coffee Night, 6:30 p.m., Spressos, 307 N James St., Rome. Sat. 1/15 Transgender Coffee Hour, 9:30 to 11 a.m., Express Cafe and Bakery, 164 N. Main St., Elmira. Hosted by Gender Education and Expressions of Central New York. For info, Angela Radka at angie14845@hotmail.com. Pride Along the Mohawk annual dinner, 412 Rutger St., Utica. For info, reservations: (315) 734-1653. Thurs. 1/20 Transgender/Cross Dressers Discussion Gatherings, 7 p.m., every third Thursday, 412 Rutgers St., Utica. For info, Joan at (315) 337-3659. Sun. 1/23 Vintage Pride Potluck, 1 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 362 State St., Albany. Bring a dish to share,y drinks and dessert provided by the Capital District Gay and Lesbian Community Council. A casual social opportunity for lesbi- an, gay, bisexual and transgender people 55 and older. For info, (518) 292-8140. Men’s potluck, 5 p.m., 412 Rutger St., Utica. For info: (315) 734-1653. 26 O-Town Scene Jan. 6, 2011 the Diversity Scene Jan. 6-12

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