CityView Magazine

6 November 2023 Mary Zahran, who puts ketchup only on french fries, can be reached at maryzahran@gmail.com. SOMEDAY YOU'LL THANK ME Tips for hosting a perfect Thanksgiving dinner BY MARY ZAHRAN T o be completely honest, I have no idea how to host a perfect anksgiving dinner. Like a perfect marriage or life on other planets, I have my doubts that a perfect anksgiving gathering even exists. e best advice I can offer about preparing for this holiday is not so much a list of things to do as a list of things to avoid doing. My first piece of advice is to ask yourself if you are truly up to the task of doing all the work that is required for this occasion. is is no time to be self-deluding about your skills in the kitchen or overly optimistic that somehow everything will work out if you just do your best. As every experienced chef knows, anksgiving is the Super Bowl of cooking and is not for amateurs or the faint of heart. How do I know this? Have you ever been to a grocery store the day before anksgiving? If you have, you have probably seen women (and some men) with a facial expression usually reserved for someone standing in front of a firing squad. Frightened and unsure of how they got themselves into this predicament, they clutch their shopping list like a life ra and usually leave the store with a cart overflowing with more food than they can possibly prepare in 24 hours. e time to begin preparing for anksgiving is several weeks before the holiday, not at 5:30 the day before, when your only turkey option is a bird weighing 30 pounds. If you truly do not want to host this dinner or do not think you can handle it, be honest with yourself and your family. ey may be hesitant at first when you inform them that they can have either a pre-ordered anksgiving meal or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but they will eventually come around. Remind them that the last person they want to antagonize is the one in charge of the food. If you are one of those amazing cooks who really is up to the task, I offer you my congratulations for your courage and your determination to create an unforgettable day. Just remember that the word "unforgettable" has many different meanings. I can recall some "unforgettable" anksgivings that stretch all the way back to my childhood. Perhaps these memories will serve as tips for helping you create the perfect holiday feast. At the very least, they can provide some interesting conversation starters with your guests. I remember several anksgivings when one of my cousins, who was a ketchup lover, decided that every single item on his plate required this special condiment. If you have never seen mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie slathered with ketchup, consider yourself lucky. I have seen this horrifying spectacle, and my psyche is forever scarred. A good host or hostess will hide the ketchup and lie about having any in case someone asks for it. Aer you have finished hiding the ketchup, make sure you put everything in a safe place so your pets do not begin their anksgiving feast early. ese creatures become amazingly creative and nimble when they smell something delicious. We were the owners of the most trustworthy dog on earth — or so we thought — until she stood up at the kitchen counter and devoured an entire pumpkin pie before we could stop her. To make matters worse, she did this right aer most grocery stores had closed early for the holiday. My final tip about hosting anksgiving dinner has nothing to do with food. It has everything to do with the seating arrangements of your guests. As we all know, family gatherings can be a joy or a disaster, depending on where people sit and what they discuss. Conversations about sports, politics, and unresolved family issues can begin with friendly banter and end with screaming matches. Keep this possibility in mind when you assign seats. People are probably less likely to yell at each other across a room and in front of little children and grandparents. When the day ends, you want everyone — yourself included — to feel a sense of gratitude for being able to spend anksgiving with family and friends. You do not want to close the door aer the last guest leaves and say to yourself, "ank heavens that's over!"

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