68 October 2021
Bill Kirby Jr. can be reached
at bkirby@cityviewnc.com,
billkirby49@gmail.com or
910-624-1961. Read more
of his columns in our weekly
Insider newsletter.
Frank with her mouth open in stunned
disbelief.
"Mrs. McNeill!" June Blue, the funeral
director, was pleading with Aunt Ethel
to let go for the sake of the gurney wheels
now sideways at about 45 degrees. "Mrs.
McNeill! Mrs. McNeill!"
Sweat beads were popping out on the
funeral director's head, and he was patting
them away with his handkerchief.
About now you likely are thinking this
story cannot be true. You'd be wrong. You
can't make up what transpired on that
summer day at the little white church at
Uncle Danny's funeral. e last we saw was
Aunt Ethel spread eagle on the lid of Uncle
Danny's coffin heading out the narthex and
toward the cemetery.
Most folks in those days returned to the
homeplace for consolation and condolences,
and perhaps punch and cookies and light
finger foods. Most of the McNeill clan,
family lore has it, returned to the homeplace
and made a mad dash for the corn liquor
stash, my Aunt Mary Frank, my Aunt Vivian
and Mama likely among them.
EPILOGUE
Aunt Ethel was 69 when she died Sept. 16,
1971.
She's buried in the McNeill plot, along
with Uncle Danny … and about 12 feet away
from where I'll be buried next to Mama.
Most all who experienced that day in 1965
at Uncle Danny's funeral now are gone, save
some cousins and Aunt Vivian.
"You had to be there to believe it,"
Aunt Vivian, 89, says. "Talk about an
embarrassing moment. I just dropped my
head. I couldn't believe it. It's a true story.
Every word for word."
Yes, all who were there at the little white
church in 1965 may not remember Aunt
Ethel as the ugliest woman in Moore County
history, but they'll tell you the legend of
Aunt Ethel is the gospel truth, and I'll
hazard a guess Aunt Vivian will tell you if
Aunt Ethel, bless her heart, wasn't the ugliest
woman in Moore County history, Aunt
Ethel was close.
