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OFF in a split second. I'm not sure if she's trying out for the 500 dash or the long jump. But for a dainty ten pound cat she packs a mean wallop. Knowledgeable cat people (that lets me out) say it's just the cat needs more activity. Come on now! I throw a ball, or her favorite mousey, does she chase it, retrieve it, return it? Play the game fairly? Nope. She looks at me with disdain- ful eyes, twitches her tail and then fi nal insult, turns her back on me. But leave a pencil on a table top and she bats it onto the fl oor and chases it like it was a rodent. A stray water bottle cap is fair game; if she were a Minnesota cat I'd say she was play- ing ice hockey. Now she's not dumb. She al- ready knows which chair I sit in when I pull her treat package out of the nearby book case and she gets those wonderful tiny morsels that must be cat candy. She tries to steer me to the right chair; she blocks the entrance to other chairs and sit meowing pathetically by the treats. After the a.m. Olympics she want- ed her treats. I now only give her three at a time since she gets them frequently. And I've decided since she obvi- ously is very intelligent, she should be able to learn commands like a dog. (Commands?? How about re- quests?) Anyway, she now responds to "come" and after much repetition she will "SIT" maybe 80% of the time. Alright, so it's only when I'm holding a treat over her head. But it's a start, don't you think? Stay tuned: I've bought her a vest and leash and we're trying to conquer the outdoors. There must be aliens out there cuz she gives the word "cau- tion" an enhanced meaning! 18 www.DesertMessenger.com September 15, 2021 Amber, the cat and adoption woes Read Desert MESSENGER ONLINE @ www.DesertMessengerOnline.com Nancy's Kitchen too much junk? CLEAN OUT THAT GARAGE List your items in Desert Messenger CLASSIFIEDS Email Editor@DesertMessenger.com or CALL RAIN @ 928-916-4235 By Jackie Deal "MMWRO-WOW!! FSSST!" "Amber! Were those cuss words?" "Mrowww! Fssst!" "AMBER! I do believe you're swearing!" "wrrrorrrw-wow." "AMBER-RR, lovely little lady kitties don't swear!" "rrorwrr- rr…rr??" "Hmm, my mistake, I guess they do!" Amber twitches her tail, gives me her golden-eyed glare and stalks from the room. What did I do to deserve such treatment? Well, I didn't see her, honest, I didn't, and when I tossed a pillow onto the bed it landed right on top of her. Not a nice way to be awakened from the fi rst of 99 naps for the day. Now Amber does more than just nap. She protects hearth and home. You see, Amber KNOWS that the scatter rugs are well camoufl aged alien portals! Oh, yes, she KNOWS, so let her tell you in her own words. I am Amber. The Attack Cat. Hear me roar! I am alert! I am ready to protect my home and family. I lie fl at to the fl oor to escape detection by the enemy. My paws are ready to pounce. My ears are fl at, back, the better to hear. My claws are un- sheathed. I am a sleek, well-oiled killing machine. I am watching. Waiting. There! Right in front of me: an alien ship disguised as a … a rug. Yeh, my Mistress thinks it's just a rug. But I know better. I know that any minute now a space monster— will--- Yes, there he is! I pounce—fl ying low across the fl oor. A direct hit! I grab the corner of the rug/monster and fl ip him into the air. The soft underbelly is ex- posed and I dig my claws in. I shake him. Roll him. Crush him and will destroy him. He puts up a good fi ght. But I have right on my side; I will prevail. Oh, Help! He has me surrounded. I am smothered. One fi nal desperate maneuver and the rug/monster sails up into the air, releasing me. I fl op, fl at. Pant- ing. Exhausted. I have given close to my all to protect my dim-witted Mistress. Then the Dim Wit clomps across the fl oor. "Oh, you silly cat, look what you've done to my rug." She stomps down the upturned edge of the rug. No monster attacks her. I have chased them away. I have over- come! She strides off and leaves me wounded and weary. That's the thanks I get? No medal of valor for protecting home and hearth? Hey come back here! Not even a TREAT? So I've learned that perhaps when the frapping cat is at it again it's because she is protecting me. Now wait! Come back here! I'm not swearing. I know some of you use "frapping" as a mild cuss word. But F.R.A.P.P.I.N.G. is not a swear word; it's an acronym. Many of you, well, at least the cat owners, know it as "the zoomies". It's when your cat suddenly decides to try out for the Cat Olympics and zooms from one end of the house to the other. Up, down, over and under. Don't get in their way. The acronym? F.R.A.P.? Why, it stands for "Frenetic Ran- dom Activity Periods", the scientifi c name for your cat's romp. Usually Amber does her try-outs in the evening but this morning she decided 7a.m. was the perfect time. I was still in bed and unfor- tunately one end of her runway was my bed. UP into the air she went, KERPLUNK into my middle and BEEF & BROCCOLI ON RICE 1 cup low sodium beef broth 1/2 cup low sodium soy sauce 1/4 cup coconut sugar, (I use)l honey 1 Tablespoon sesame oil 3 garlic cloves, minced 2 pounds lean round sirloin steak, sliced thin 2 tablespoons cornstarch 4 tablespoons of sauce from slow cooker 1 head fresh broccoli, cut into bite- sized fl orets Directions 1. Inside the crockpot, whisk to- gether beef broth, soy sauce, coco- nut sugar, sesame oil, and garlic. 2. Place slices of beef in the liquid and toss to coat. 3. Cover with lid and cook on low heat for 5 hours. When done, whisk together cornstarch and the sauce from inside slow cooker in small bowl. Pour into crock pot and stir to mix well. Add the broccoli over the beef and sauce. Gently stir to combine. Cover with lid and cook 30 minutes to cook broccoli and thicken sauce. Serve on a bed of steamed rice.

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