Up & Coming Weekly

October 27, 2020

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

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WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM OCTOBER 28-NOVEMBER 3, 2020 UCW 13 COVER STORY KEYURI PARAB, Editorial Assistant COMMENTS? Editor@upandcomin- gweekly.com 910-484-6200. "If a person has had time to get treatment done and has a second case of abuse then they are considered for a chapter or discharge but they do try very hard to rehabilitate," Hill said. "e most difficult is to get dependents who are perpetrators into treatment." When family members are the victims, they are often hesitant to report abuse because of the instability it would cause to the family if the spouse were discharged from the military. Hill said when a person is thinking about leaving their spouse they might have to completely start over with housing, finances, job, and FAP has many resources that can help with that process. "So [the Army] created a program called 'Transitional Compensation' where if a depen- dent comes forward and says I am being abused and their partner gets kicked out of the military, or incarcerated they will still be eligible for pay, medical and dental insurance and PX and Com- missary privileges for up to three years after," Hill said. e FAP works with the courthouse to provide a person a domestic violence protective order electronically by meeting the judge online at Fort Bragg. e program works closely with shelters in Hoke, Cumberland and Moore counties. Signs of healthy versus unhealthy relationships White said part of the Care Center's responsi- bility is to educate both victims and abusers of what a healthy relationship looks like. "e main important part of a healthy rela- tionship is communication, you must be able to express your thoughts and feelings, bottling your emotions often results in an explosion and increases the risk of domestic violence," she said. Other important factors of a healthy relation- ship include trust, being a good support system for one another and having time to yourself. "Being together 24/7 is not healthy in a rela- tionship, it is important to be able to have time apart and do things you enjoy doing," White said. "e saying is true about absence makes the heart grow fonder." White said other signs of an unhealthy or un- safe relationship can be if the partner wants to move in after two weeks of meeting, if they be- come easily jealous, checking your whereabouts or your phone, throwing things when they get angry, calling your names or belittling you, making you feel like it's your fault that they hit you. "If you spot these early in your relation- ships, then you need to get out as quickly as possible. e longer you stay, the worse the abuse becomes," she said. Hill said the Care Center works with cases every week that involve other forms of abuse. "Some are emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse by control- ling the money, or holding onto a per- son's ID cards and such," she said. COVID-19 "COVID-19 and the pandemic abso- lutely has affected the hotline, we have seen an increase in the number of calls," White said. "ey are cooped up togeth- er, they don't have an outlet, this seems to have increased the hostility in the home, so we have seen a major increase in calls." Fort Bragg hasn't seen an increase in cases during the COVID-19 pandemic, Hill said, noting that e Army Times released an article that said the Army overall has seen less cases during the pandemic. "But it's still worrisome to know that there's still folks out there that could be cooped up with an abuser and we really have to get the word out," Hill said. Be an ally If you see someone who has suspi- cious bruises, or if you know someone who is experiencing domestic violence, give them the Care Center Crisis Line which is 910- 677-2532. White advised it is up to that victim or the abuser to seek out help, and it is important for the community to know to just sometimes all you can do is provide them with resources that can help. "Be a listening ear, let them know you are there for them. It usually takes up to 7 times before a victim finally leaves their abuser," she said. "Often, when we have a friend who might be in an abusive relationship, we are quick to tell them to leave - do not do this. It is up to that victim to decide when they feel comfortable to leave, it is their decision." She said there could be several reasons a per- son may not be leaving a relationship some of them being financial, fear of life and safety, no place to stay. e Care Center is always in need of dona- tions for things like hygiene items, women's products, clothes, diapers in different sizes for kids, twin bed sheets and comforters. To help call 910-677-2528 and the Care Center will pro- vide a list of immediate donation needs. Although the Care Center has been around for 41 years, many people are not aware of it, White said. "We just want them to know that we are here for them, and if they know someone out in the community that experienced domestic violence to provide them with our contact," she said. Available Resources Local area resources for victims of domestic abuse are listed below: •Cumberland County Sheriff 's Office Non-emergency 910-323-1500 Victim assistance 910-677-5454 or https://ccsonc.org/ •Cumberland County Family Court 910-475-3015 or https://www.nccourts.gov/locations/cumber- land-county •Safe-Link Domestic Violence Assistance Program 910-475-3029, Cumberland County Courthouse Room 340, 3rd floor •Cumberland County District Attorney's Office 910-475-3010 •Fayetteville Police Department 910-433-1529; Victim Assistance 910-433-1849 or bethebadge.com •e CARE Center Family Violence Program Crisis Line 910-677-2532 or office 910-677-2528 •Legal Aid of North Carolina-Fayetteville Chapter 910-483-0400 or legalaidnc.org •Rape Crisis Center Hot Line 910-485-7273 or https://www.rapecrisisonline.org/ •Army Community Service 910-396-8262 or bragg.armymwr.com/us/bragg/ •U. S. Army Family Advocacy Program 910-322-3418 or hotline 910-584-4267 Many parents experiencing domestic violence are faced with losing their home, financial support and medical care if they leave an abuser. ere are programs available in Cumberland County and on Fort Bragg to assist victims in times of transition.

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