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4B – Daily News – Tuesday, June 15, 2010 FEATURES Family man now reliving childhood abuse Dear Annie: I’m 35, a loving family man and a successful teacher who can’t get over my child- hood. When I was young, I lived with constant anxiety due to my mother’s moods. Some days, she would be gentle and caring, but other days, I would wake up to her screaming and tearing apart the house. She would become violent and abusive and always make it my fault. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough for her. My father was weak willed, and Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar his work kept him away constantly, so he never helped me. When he was home, he, too, suffered her abuse, but when things got too hard to take, he would just leave the house and come back later. As I grew into my teens, my mother became more violent, punching and slapping me and dar- ing me to strike her back. I never once raised a hand against her, and after a while, her hits stopped hurt- ing. In fact, she once fractured her own wrist and broke a finger while slapping me. The hospital suspected I abused her. She blamed me for the cast she wore and brought it up con- stantly. Of course, my parents acted so kind and caring in public that no one would have believed how they were in private. During my fresh- man year of college, my mother had a stroke and died. By then, my father had developed early dementia and spent the rest of his life in a spe- cial care home. I was on my own. I no longer speak to any relatives because they constantly told me what great parents I had. I now find myself reliving childhood moments in the middle of the night. I fanta- size about beating my moth- er. I have never told anyone, but sometimes my wife asks why I clench my fists. I do not attend church and cannot afford counseling. I’m not sure I could admit my feel- ings to anyone. I had to force myself to write this. Is there a way to let the past go? — Texas Dear Texas: Our hearts are breaking for the little boy who had to live with a mother who was undoubtedly bipolar and a father who repeatedly abandoned him so he could escape the abuse. You are a testimonial to the resilience of the human spirit. There are people who can put the past behind them by confiding in a spouse or close friend, but if that is not possible, please reconsider talk- ing to a professional, in person, online or over the phone. There are many affordable places. Start with your local hospitals, university psy- chology departments and graduate school counseling departments; United Way and the YMCA; The Samaritan Institute (samaritaninsti- tute.org) at 2696 S. Colorado Blvd., Suite 380, Denver, CO 80222; and the Abraham Low Self-Help Sys- tems at lowselfhelpsystems.org, 1- 866-221-0302. Dear Annie: My dad has started to smoke pipes, and I am worried. His dentist told him to stop because of gum cancer. He says he doesn’t inhale so he can’t get addicted or develop gum cancer. How can I get him to stop? Can he get some sort of cancer by smok- ing pipes? — Concerned Kid in Kansas Dear Kansas: According to the American Cancer Society, pipe smokers have an increased risk of heart disease, stroke and chronic lung disease, along with dying from cancers of the lung, throat, esopha- gus, larynx, pancreas, and colon and rectum. However, you cannot stop your father from puffing away if he refuses. Give him the informa- tion, tell him you love him, and then try to steer clear when he’s smok- ing. Dear Annie: ‘‘Grieving in the Midwest’’ said her 33-year-old daughter-in-law recently died from a drug overdose and her son already has a new girlfriend. Maybe I watch too many crime dramas, but when a young woman in a rocky marriage dies of a drug overdose, the hus- band is a prime murder suspect. — Suspicious in Kentucky Dear Kentucky: Yes, that struck us, too, but we’re not the police, and we assume if there was something to investigate, they would have done so. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Museum launches new exhibits, hours Gateway Science Museum debuted its new Summer Science Exhibit Monday, when it reopened with new summer hours as well as its first kids’ summer camps, Gateway Discovery Camps. The Summer Science Exhibit is a collection of interactive activities that explore the fields of sci- ence, math and psychology through hands-on activi- ties. It features more than 50 stations allowing visitors to explore the basic principles of sound, light, elec- tricity and magnetism, and spinning things. The Shad- ow Wall, Dancing Chain and the Air Cannon, cour- tesy of the California State University, Chico Depart- ment of Mathematics and Statistics, are just a few of the interactive activities Summer Science will have on display. Summer Science will feature the Museum of the 24 HOUR TOWING 440 Antelope Blvd. #12 25 years professional experience. Quality Work Very Reasonable Rates • Automatic • Manual • Parts • Computer Diagnosis • Clutches • Transfer Cases • CV Axles transmission, parts and needs CALL TODAY! 529-4493 See us for all your 10% OFF TRANSMISSION FLUSH Bring ad to redeem special Not good with any other offer. SERVICE Thru June 30, 2010 Removal. 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He is using a steroid cream, which seems to have little or no effect, and takes Concerta for ADHD. Can you offer any sug- gestions? Can diet, cloth- ing, detergents, stress and/or animals affect this problem? Dr. Peter Gott changes. Whether it is related to his psoriasis or not, I don’t know. Is there any correla- tion between the time he was diag- nosed with guttate psoriasis and was placed on the medication? His parents may choose to DEAR READER: Guttate psoriasis is a non- contagious, uncommon form of psoriasis that pre- sents with small, red spots that resemble teardrops appearing on the arms, legs, trunk and other skin surfaces. The lesions may be covered with silver-colored, flaky scales. The disorder pre- sents most frequently in people younger than 30 and usually follows strep throat, bacterial infec- tions, sunburn, burns, insect bites, stress and the ingestion of some med- ications. Diagnosis is made through visual examina- tion of the lesions. Treat- ment is directed toward controlling the symptoms and preventing secondary infection. A physician might suggest exposure to the sun or prescribe antibiotics, cortisone creams, oral steroids, moisturizers, dandruff shampoos, prescription medications with vitamins A or D, or phototherapy. The Concerta that your grandson has been pre- scribed carries many side effects, including allergic reaction (rash, hives, etc.), sore throat, convulsions and unwanted behavioral M-F 6am-2pm * Now on Facebook speak with his pediatri- cian to determine whether another drug might be substituted or if he can be switched to an herbal for control of his ADHD. I am not making light of his diagnosis, nor am I endorsing any specific product, but I can report that ginkgo biloba, lemon balm, hawthorn and lobelia have been used successfully by some but should be used only under the direction of a qualified physician. To provide related information, I am send- ing you a copy of my Health Report “Dermati- tis, Eczema and Psoria- sis.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 63-year-old woman just diagnosed with abdominal migraines that started when I was 8 or 9. I get a pain in my stomach that goes to my head, last- ing from two hours to sev- eral days. It usually helps if I eat something, but not always. I end up in bed and literally don’t move for hours. Noise and lights don’t bother me. I am tak- ing compazine twice a day for the associated nausea, which helps, and I take Frova when I do get the migraines. Is there any- thing you can tell me about abdominal migraines? 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