North Bay Woman

F A L L 2 0 1 8 | NORTH BAY WOMAN 23 Christmas Eve cookie baking. Now we were surrounded by more gifts than any of us needed, and completely exhausted. What was supposed to feel good ended up feeling gluttonous and depressing. We came to the realization that we were ruining the holidays. In our efforts to make the season as magical as possible, we were actually creating a chaotic mess. We needed structure, and we needed it fast. Here are five ways we minimized our stress during the holidays. 1 We took a mental inventory of the tradi- tions we want- ed to keep, or to morph into something new. In Shawn's family, one of their most important traditions is for his best friend Jonny to come over before any present is opened, as he's done since Shawn's son An- drew was a baby. In Crissi's family, the tradition has always been to open presents at her parents' house with her children Sum- mer and Lucas. We combined these traditions, starting out our Christmas morning with Jonny, and then head- ing to the grandparents' house after breakfast. 2 For example, each of us has our own collection of special orna- ments, even if some of these ornaments appear ready for the recycle bin. Our first Christmas together, the tree tilted slight- ly from the weight of clashing trinkets. Over the next several years, we agreed that some of our ornaments could remain in the box while our favorites graced the tree. Shawn's tra- dition with his son has been to collect a new ornament from every vacation or special outing. We continued this tradition as a blended family, and now our tree looks a lot more like ours instead of his and hers. 3 One of the easiest ways we reduce our stress around the holidays is to not procrastinate. In this, budgeting and planning became a vital part of our holiday tradition. We both tend to be perfectionists, so we actually enjoyed creating an ironclad budget and a schedule for every day until Christmas. Our new tradition is to save from June to December. Each person is allotted a certain dollar amount, which we keep purposely low. Then we split the list so that neither one of us is left to buy the bulk of the presents. By the end of the first week of December, our holiday shopping is done and paid for with cash, and we have the rest of the weeks until Christmas to have fun and enjoy time as a family. This brings us to our favorite holiday tradition of all — our annual, just the two of us getaway before Christmas. Crissi's birthday falls within the first week of December, and can get swept up with all the holiday madness if we're not careful. Because of our strategic planning, we've added this mini vacation to our holiday budget. It's usually something small, like a weekend in Mendocino or a winter camping trip, but these trips have become our reward for taking what could be a stressful time of year and creating one full of joy and meaning. 5 Finally, we keep gratitude as the center of our celebration, from holiday shopping to the candlelight ceremony at Christmas Eve service. We do our best to not get wrapped up in the materialism of Christmas, and aim to create a holiday of meaning — from exchanging smaller, more thoughtful gifts with each other to driving around town to deliver leftover pancakes and bacon to the homeless. When the kids are grown with kids of their own, these are the traditions we hope they remember, and continue when we're no longer here to make them happen. n " We came to the realization that we were ruin- ing the holidays. In our efforts to make the season as magical as possible, we were actually creating a chaotic mess . " – Crissi and Shawn Langwell – Photo by Stuart Lirette We found new ways to compromise. 4

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